Thursday, September 3, 2009

Media Bans Required.

Uppercase letters must be used carefully. Dialog typed in uppercase represents shouting. So what does "TIMES NOW" mean, eh ? It's too loud, firstly. Much like Arnab Goswami himself.
That reminds me. Amazing dialogue he once had with some politician:

Arnab: Sir, what is your opinion on this subject?
Politician: See, Rajdeep, what I am -
Arnab: It's ARNAB, sir !
Politician: I'm coming to that, Rajdeep! ...

Recommended bans for the media:
1) News channels should refrain from using bright red font colors, font sizes greater than 12, uppercase letters and embarrassing animations that RUN across the screen (courtesy: India TV).
2) They should be banned from slapping stupid marquees at the viewers, and making text of size 48 RUNNNNN all over the screen.
3) All journalists should be banned from shouting continuously and unstoppably.
4) India TV alone should be banned for the following:
- Regularly spotting UFOs and alien spacecraft that are missed by NASA and ISRO
- Doing shows on ghosts that haunt students if they study late at night
- Doing special-shows on aliens and investigating if aliens can survive on cow's milk. Indulging in stupid animations of a poor cow dropping from the top of the screen and spiralling all over the screen.
- Having journalists report from other planets.
5) Headlines Today for competing with Zoom TV instead of NDTV or CNN-IBN, and for excessive coverage of the Indian wrestler Khali The Great
6) All news channels should be banned from indulging in any single piece of news for over 5 times a day, or for over 1 hour - whichever is lesser.