Thursday, September 3, 2009

Media Bans Required.

Uppercase letters must be used carefully. Dialog typed in uppercase represents shouting. So what does "TIMES NOW" mean, eh ? It's too loud, firstly. Much like Arnab Goswami himself.
That reminds me. Amazing dialogue he once had with some politician:

Arnab: Sir, what is your opinion on this subject?
Politician: See, Rajdeep, what I am -
Arnab: It's ARNAB, sir !
Politician: I'm coming to that, Rajdeep! ...

Recommended bans for the media:
1) News channels should refrain from using bright red font colors, font sizes greater than 12, uppercase letters and embarrassing animations that RUN across the screen (courtesy: India TV).
2) They should be banned from slapping stupid marquees at the viewers, and making text of size 48 RUNNNNN all over the screen.
3) All journalists should be banned from shouting continuously and unstoppably.
4) India TV alone should be banned for the following:
- Regularly spotting UFOs and alien spacecraft that are missed by NASA and ISRO
- Doing shows on ghosts that haunt students if they study late at night
- Doing special-shows on aliens and investigating if aliens can survive on cow's milk. Indulging in stupid animations of a poor cow dropping from the top of the screen and spiralling all over the screen.
- Having journalists report from other planets.
5) Headlines Today for competing with Zoom TV instead of NDTV or CNN-IBN, and for excessive coverage of the Indian wrestler Khali The Great
6) All news channels should be banned from indulging in any single piece of news for over 5 times a day, or for over 1 hour - whichever is lesser.

11 comments:

Nenlos said...

ROFL! Excellent! A friend of mine had even blogged about the alien-cow conspiracy. I'll see if I can find the link to that post.

Nenlos said...

Here you go!

http://isha-isms.blogspot.com/2008/07/breaking-news-indeed.html

backBencher said...

R-O-F-L!! Move over Scrubs and Big-bang theory.. Here come the Hindi News Channels..
Few more bans should be placed on...
1) Covering some clown climbing up a water tower all day long
2) Discovering a house filled with foreign currency notes that no other news agency knows about
3) And yes calling Khali as India's youth model.. not that he isn't healthy, but come one, just what are short guys supposed to do? Drink milk from alien cows?!

krithika said...

rofl!good one!but i dont agree that india tv shud be banned..waaat jana..u know theyre good :D

John Anderton said...

Jan for president, I Say!

Its about time someone said something about such silly things.. :P

John Anderton said...

err *prime minister

Just realized its the wrong country to make someone a president :P

His Royal Awesomeness said...

Thats some goos stuff you got there. But I take umbrage to the fact that you want India TV banned. Its India's only 24*7 comedy show. C'mon lady, don't deny me my daily dose of laughs...

Nenlos said...

Someone please HIT Arnab Goswami on the head. His stupid face makes me want to smack him with a damn belan.

How he dramatises every thing! Even Barkha pales in comparison.

silversplash said...

@ kat, backbencher and Anush - India TV has viewers like you and me who watch it just to get enraged. Allright, and laugh too. Damn, we play a role in their survival !

Nenlos - Agreed. Arnab Goswami shouts so loud that I'm sure I hear him LIVE, and not through the tv's speakers.

silversplash said...

VARSH - ROFL !!! THAT LINK WAS AMAZINGGGGGGGG !

Guys, please visit her link.. totally worth it :

http://isha-isms.blogspot.com/2008/07/breaking-news-indeed.html

krithika said...

there seems to be an unanimous liking for india tv(including u jan..deep in ur heart :D) and dislike for arnab goswami yay!